on another note

hey peepz!(if there are any..=p)

I've been a bit high since like tuesday. Really. My dark mood seems to have disappeared almost completely now. ah. pms. definitely. huhu. there were still traces of that darkness on monday... but tuesday..i was hyper because of lack of sleep. does that even makes sense to anybody in this world other than me?anyway, today..a bit less hyper, but was definitely in the lighter area.=)

sigh. typical me. for me, that is. maybe not for the rest of this world.

one thing's on my mind. I've been hearing my name around the faculty. not like in a serious way. just some random people from my lecture hall calling out my name or summat.
1st reason: facebook socialites. have been adding up coursemates on facebook. i just add people who i somewhat recognise or know. other people who i don't really know or recognise added me up. interactions occur....and well...car passing by: "bella~ ******" can't recall the rest. came down from lecture: "bella wan...." or are my ears a little too sensitive n perasan?>.< aih ape2 pown hidup mesti perasan! muakakaka...jk..jk..soz if i come across as self-centered ere, aite. but who isn't?

change of topic please! Holidays!! mid-term break is here~~!well, officially it starts on 25th december, but all my classes on the 24th got cancelled. extra holiday.xD will be going back home with my aunt in the afternoon, maybe..or will it be morning? hmm.. we'll see. better just be ready anyhow. yeay for HOME!^^ aahhh am so homesick! thank goodness for the holiday til 3rd of January.x) hope I can get some stuff done in that time at home. top of my list includes getting something done to this thing on my head. as always. but i think i really do need it now.

yesterday's chem test..was...let's just say i messed up here and there. because i read it all only the night before, had 3 hours of sleep..read n reviewed (cewah review tu) some exercises a few hours before the test..and it all happened. fuhh.. my brain got jammed more than a few times. but i tried and did what i could. we'll see.

oh well, i won't bore you any more on this one. getting sleepy. lack of words. bye.

it's aLIVE!!

around 5pm or something, I heard a different kind of music drifting through the windows of my room. Hey, I know that song. It sounds a bit different than the recorded version though. What? Really? THE real thing has come to this place? And for THAT thing? I need to go there. Seriously. I HAVE to go there. Because if I don't I can just hear my sisters' voices saying something along the lines of...."Kenape yang ko bodoh sangat x pegi?!" muahahaha.. Halfway towards giving up...because I can't possibly suddenly go there alone, can I? But then yay for friends and the power of persuasion~! xDD

Yes~~! I saw some local artists perform live. xD yeah somewhat a first for me..other than that one KRU concert when I was very very very little...weren't in time for Aizat...when we arrived, a composer (I think) was singing some songs..and then Sheila Abdul came on...I didn't know who she was, but apparently my friends do..so..hmm....Oh well. walked around for a while, bought drinks and something for a dear friend who went back home hours too early.hehe..xP and then went back to the main attraction. Jay Jay went on! quite an old singer..but with a great voice and some good songs!x)) And then THE band that I wanted to go there in the first place for. 6ixth Sense. They were clearly THE most anticipated one for the night. They did their thing and I was just recording the whole thing...singing along to the parts I know..and can't keep the smile off my face. hehe.. so here are the vids!

Jesnita by a composer..


Separuh Jiwaku Pergi by Sheila Abdul


Belaian Jiwa by Jay Jay


Rindu Bayangan - Jay Jay


Joget Angan Tak Sudah - Jay Jay


6ixth Sense Part 1


6ixth Sense Part 2


6ixth Sense Part 3


6ixth Sense Part 4


6ixth Sense Part 5

say all i need...

shortly: stressed. migraine. moods. tears. stupidity.

longer version's coming up.

stressed.
because of lectures, surroundings, others, and myself.

Chemistry seems alright. But then again, I've always thought of it that way and ended up somewhere 10 meters from the finish line.

Physics...has been..erm..complicated. Had lectures by a substitute lecturer for the last 2 weeks, and this week, the physics lectures were cancelled. the substitute lecturer was..err how should i put it into words...hmm..too full of explanations. I mean, it's good that he actually explains something and not just read out whatever from the slides...BUT he takes a really really winding path on his way to get to the core and just randomly pulled different elements into the said pathway, and finally lost more than half of my interest on the said subject.

Mathematics used to be my best one..but since last week the lecturer has been going that much more faster than he usually does and I can't say I get what he's been going on about..sadly so.

Computing has been quite interesting. We've been learning about C programming. Which means I'm one step nearer to the whole world of computer engineering...I think.. With this thing, if I can get it right, it can be the highlight of my day. But if I can't, it's as painful as deciding on what's for dinner. for me, that is. xP

Now then, the new subject. Since English suddenly became unavailable, I had to choose politics. Damn. OK, it was my second choice if we had to choose out of 3 (the other one is information literacy. library stuff.). And I was probably the most disappointed person ever when English got cancelled! x_x Politics has only been about history so far. which means I spend most of my time making comments on whatever. names..pictures..the lecturer..people in the dk...=_="

stupidity. tears. migraine.
I finally had a moment of release earlier in the week. Yerp. I cried. Really, seriously, ultimately cried my eyes out. The trigger was just a little stupidity of an unknown homosapien. I got angry in 5 seconds when I really shouldn't have, and plus with all the stress and tension I've been piling on...and also because of an act of kindness which suddenly touched me...It all came out. sigh... did so til I had a migraine. Went to sleep. And woke 10 minutes before the next class.
Aiyaa...let's just say my face got a bit hyorish..=_=" xp

moods.
last sem, my darker moods were rare to be seen. (at least, I think so) But this sem though, I think I'm getting into one of my moods nearly every day. Just say it, man. I know it already. I'm depressed aren't I? Of course I am. x| haih... I do try to keep it down. But every single day, there will always be at least one thing that gets to me. I'm probably getting more pessimistic as well. Therefore, I need to enforce the 'I'm gonna be optimistic' mode into my head. And then I will, subconsciously, start being so. I know. I've done it times before. It's just a 'me' factor. whatever I mean by that. xP

aaaahhh BY THE WAY!!! I love my new template and layout! xDDD hehe..I've said this on fb..that I want it to stay somewhat dark, you know. so that it will match its contents...muahaha xP but yeah, I'm very much liking it.

Oh, and talk about liking, I am so very much in love with Nokia N97 mini....!!!xDD yeah, I've posted about it before but I wasn't sure then. But I watched a video on youtube about N97, N97 mini and X6...aaahhh it stole my heart. haha xP So I'm holding a torch for it. Without a doubt... And I've mentioned it to mi mama. hehehehe...hey, she said next year, you know..so a little request is alright...xp

OK, I'm feeling very much better already compared to when I began typing all these words. =)
Not sorry for the length. muahaha
c ya peepz~

song of my day

Girls Aloud - I'll Stand By You
This song is just one of the very best choice to partly describe how my day was. Originally sang by The Pretenders.

Oh, Why You Look So Sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
’cause I’ve seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you
When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
’cause even if you’re wrong

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You’re feeling all alone
You won’t be on your own

I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you

I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

couldn't care less

after last week, they should know not to mess with this girl.

first was that incident in the lab. that thing that don't even deserve to be called human just had to make a really idiotic joke who nobody else but him found funny and suddenly laughed by himself like a true idiot. yep, i am talking bout you, and yes, i know all about your time-wasting doings already, man. i think everyone does. therefore, just stay very very very well away for i can barely even stand being in the same class as you.

second was a couple of days later. i was in my super-ultra-extra sarcastic mode. and this other human just had to be so showy n loud every time. pardon my rudeness, but i just can't hold in my retorts anymore. and each time i let rip..yeah, i noticed that the class got quieter..so?
they're gonna think something's off about me that day?
or "damn..she can be quite a biatch"?
go ahead, darlings.
i hope that would stop those stupid gossips they've been repeating everyday.
sure, i laugh it off every single time. but day by day, it's starting to be a bother, alright.
i don't expect them to understand. even if i got on their case, they won't get it. they'd just be like..what the heck am i banging around for..or summat..

i was mental this week. and so were my friends. we were just so friggin mental.
we couldn't stand the stress. we couldn't stand the seriousness. we couldn't stand the revolting thing. we couldn't care less.

the need

i need space.
i need my own space.
i need my own lonely space.
just give me my very own, very lonely space.
i need space to get my head the right way round again.
i need to get my principles right again.
i need to have my priorities in the right order again.
i don't need extra noises.
i don't need extra stories.
i don't need extra terrestrials.
i just need to be me.

tiring thursday + psychologist me?

ok, hari ni my timetable jd giler sket.
first class is chem lecture at 8:30 am - 9:30 am. pastu other classes plak cancelled..until 6 pm cuz of physics lecture yg dah dipindah n digabungkan by the substitute lecturer.
aduyh..just imagine. waking up early for just an hour of class n the next class is 6pm til 8pm+.
tak ke smacam jer time management tuh...cewah..xp
but still la kan. pasal smalam dah kene tanye soalan ngan lecturer tuh, today I concentrated more than usual in the class. ok, part of it is because I sat beside some people from the other DK whom I don't know..huh..tibe2 cam concentrate jer dgr ape die ckp..even though d lecturer's explanation smacam jer kan..n den ade mlencong situ sini plak..fuhh..tp at least die x lah bace jer from the slides kan..

n den halfway through ade break for solat maghrib. kbetulan lak my sister called. my sisters n mi mama dah balik from Bandung!xD wahh...n dengar cite cam banyak jer diorang shopping kat sane cuz smue barang murah2..aiseyh..jealous plak dgr camtuh kan.xP
aaahh mau balek n see what they bought for me!!!xDDD
yea..yea...i'm not big on shopping myself but if it's new stuff for me, I won't object. x)))

tibe2 rindu pegi hair salon lak..cuz tadi main rambut damia n borak2 ngan die..tbayang plak dulu2 cam slalu je mlawat amoi kat salon tuh...cuci rambut..potong rambut..muahaha..hey, it ain't wrong to act a bit spoiled sometimes!xP

oh yeah, I think I'm past feeling a bit down since THAT. I can make fun of it and laugh about it now.;) I just remembered that I shouldn't give up so easily. I hate it when people give up easily, and I would hate it more if I'm the one who did it. So I think I'm gonna try and put some more effort this time.
I think I was more depressed than I should be cuz I didn't exactly have a full-out release. That's probably part of why I was on a rollercoaster of moods for the past few weeks. part of it..yerp..

I am my own psychologist aren't I?

venting out...thank u for this space, blogger...

I've got a problem.. It's only been a couple of weeks and my instant noodle a.k.a maggi a.k.a ramen intake has seen such an increase. Damn.
I know I need to have some real food in me, but... once I'm up here, I just can't be bothered to go back down under. huh. ok, ok, my life's not THAT dramatic, aite, but just give me some room to expand my imagination and vocab..=_="
Simply said, I'm too lazy to go 4 floors down, walk to the DC, wait around for my food, walk back into college, climb those stairs, and into my room again..sigh. It tires me so damn much to do those simple things. And so, I chose to have maggi instead. fast and tasty. xP

Friends...are good..mostly..I think..Since I came back here I've been discussing about them too much, I think. Need to curb that not so good habit. But I just have to voice my opinions out on stuff that I have to discuss them..so not good...x_x
talking about friends..one facebook quiz thingy gave me the perfect answer;

What sarcastic comment are you?

when your friends ask advice, you think:

although you can be nice, when your friends ask you for advice on a stupid prob, your response is a subtle sarcastic simple statement (in your head of course, no need to get bitch slapped)

THANK YOU!
I knew I wasn't going mad or summat!xPP~~

OK, my friends here are great. I get along with all of them..I'm close to few..but of course, this is me. I'm critical. No, I don't have some kind of sickness.. I mean I'm full of critiques about anything and everything. And I just can't help but found some things I dislike about them. Maybe not really dislike...but..just...turns me off of them? hmm yeah, that's more or less right. Just with a couple of peepz though..not every single one of them..yeah, you, reading this might be one of them. happy? xp

I have to say, for some unknown reason, I don't like the made up word 'chillax'. chill + relax. something about it..just something..i dunno..random me..

the uk english vs. malay english..
was also on my mind today..can't really recall what i was thinking anymore..
i miss speaking uk english. don't really know if i can catch and speak the slang anymore. ;)

my mom n sisters flew to Bandung, Indonesia today! for a bit of tension-releasing holiday, and of course, shopping...!!I've already told mama to remember my face when they're out shopping. hehe..yerp, i'm staying here like a good girl cuz the place don't attract me as much. and also cuz i've just started the new sem..I mean, if they're going some place else like...melbourne...or tokyo(!), I'll just be clinging onto my mum to take me there as well. huhu..safe journey and happy shopping!

Now then..I do still need some baskin robbins and some japanese..i've been wanting them for like more than a month already..x_x n i do wanna try some korean sometime...where and when....hmm..
oh well, i better worry about eating something other than maggi first.

bye bye!